“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” - Wayne W. Dyer
Perspective is everything. How we choose to view a situation, and our attitude moving forward, creates our reality for better or worse. This notion hits hard when it comes to living life and also creating life. Take the mindset we foster for our families.
Pregnant women all want a healthy baby, bottom line. But if you inquire a bit further, you might discover these mothers-to-be also have hopes about gender. A subtle lean toward a girl, perhaps, or a quiet hope for a boy.
While the reasons for leaning toward one sex over the other may be primarily personal, there is also a larger perspective at work. Some cultures favor girls, others boys, and several focus on having one of each. Add in our growing awareness/acceptance of gender fluidity and all the shifting gender roles in society, and it becomes clear that perspective matters.
While there’s nothing wrong with hoping for a particular gender, it’s important not to hold onto disappointment or guilt, or let someone else’s narrative about gender values erode your gratitude.
That’s what our friend Amy McKee came to realize as she was awaiting ultrasound results for her second child. She felt pressured to break a cycle some in her life had labeled “a curse.”
“We only have girls in our family. Not one boy.” says Amy. “To finally have that boy would be a really big deal.”
Girls were all the family had ever known. “My grandma, Julia, had three daughters - Lu, Anita, and Stephanie. My mom, Lu, had me and my sister - Julie, who had three girls – Nicole, Madison, and Sydney. I had one girl - Mia. Julie’s oldest daughter, Nicole had a girl - Harper. I was pregnant with baby #2 and my niece Madison was pregnant with her baby #1. We had four generations of mommies to only GIRLS!”
So when it was time to find out the genders for Amy’s second child, the family waited with baited breath. Before he passed, Amy’s dad had really wanted a grandson and she hoped to be the one to fulfill that wish. Madison also wanted so much to break the cycle, but it wasn’t in the cards for either of them. “Julie and I talked several times about what I was having and what her daughter was having. She just laughed and said, ‘Of course you both are having girls. It’s the Family Curse!’”
That’s when Amy suggested to “Flip the script.”
“As a mind & communication coach, I realized we needed to reframe this whole idea. Instead of seeing this as a curse, we could choose to look at it another way. We could be thankful for what IS and celebrate how amazing it is that we continue to have women - generation after generation.”
From that point on, Amy and her family took well-deserved pride in their amazing story and hatched a plan. They decided that once the newest baby girls – Madelina and Collyns - were born, they would take a picture of their “Family of Strong Women” and forever commemorate their unique blessing.
Amy says, “No matter what struggles we encounter, as my sister says, ‘we keep getting up every morning and pushing through.’ There is strength in that and something each new generation sees and learns. We took this picture to celebrate the great honor of having four generations of women bearing women and raising the next generation of strong women.”
We at HU are honored that they have taken the family photo wearing our Strong Women shirts. And Amy knows that this photo shoot will help their family remember what’s important.
“You know, we may not always feel strong and we may not always ONLY have girls. This photo is to serve as a reminder to us all to remember that we come from a long line of amazing women who survived a lot and made a huge impact in each other’s lives. No matter your legacy, that’s something to celebrate.”
HU stands in solidarity with the strong women of the past, present and future. And we wish Amy and her family many future generations of healthy, strong children. No matter their gender, we know they’re already blessed.